Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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