so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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