Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
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