I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
