I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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