Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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