She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
