do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
