I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
