I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Randomize