Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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