we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
