yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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