And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
