I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
