So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Randomize
