fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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