Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
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