at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
