As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
