Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
