this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I'm just crazy horny about you
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Randomize
