moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
