Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
