listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
