what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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