you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I would ride that face into the sunset
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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