Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
that is very illegal...i love you.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
