Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize