I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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