a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
