I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize