There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
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