Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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