I think im going to throw up on grandma
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
