well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I just googled if crying burns calories
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
