How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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