I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
