Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Randomize
