how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
