She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
