I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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