North Korea, Best Korea!
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
