It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I want a musical about memes.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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