Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
