yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Randomize
