My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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