Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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