The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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