This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
