Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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