Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
