look no pants
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize