wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
All the doctor said was why
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
