he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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