Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
