Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
