I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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