I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
