but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
