so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
