Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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