you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
is it fun? or sober?
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